[R1] neither of them turned (fix-it AU for wherehopegoes)

[candor1]

They held each other close and turned their backs upon the end,
The hills that split asunder and the black that ate the skies,
The flames that shot so high and hot that even dragons burned,
Would never be the final sights that fell upon their eyes,
A fly upon a wall, the waves the sea wind whipped and churned,
The city of a thousand years, and all that men had learned,
The Doom consumed them all alike and neither of them turned.

~ George R R Martin

They held each other and waited for the end.

The sound of a shuttle and a voice calling their names almost got dismissed as hallucination. …Either way: Cassian physically couldn't have gotten up again.

Bodhi was a good pilot. He didn't need Kay's calculations to know it would take time they didn't have to land and liftoff again. So even though you never do this lest you decapitate someone or crush them or burn them to a crisp, in the face of the oncoming kyberwave, there was nothing to lose by bringing the shuttle to hover right above them. And the new KX unit who was now Kaytuesso (—the unit's previous mind had been obliterated already by being hacked for the map, so Kay, for all he'd always expressed distaste for such practice before, in the face of the scenarios he was running, had created backup of himself to aid in extraction) reached down and yanked them both off the ground to the shuttle deck.

They were caught by Baze. Who put an arm around Jyn and laid Cassian down next to Chirrut as Kay slammed closed the hatches and Bodhi sent the shuttle screaming for space.

The adrenaline that had kept Cassian going was all gone. He didn't seem to be bleeding, but he must have been, internally… the way the color was draining from his face. Kay seemed unbelievably unconcerned when he announced that Cassian was unlikely to make it to any med facility, before going to help Bodhi pilot them away.

It had been a warning to Baze, in case he needed to restrain anybody, when Cassian stopped breathing and his heart went still, lying on the deck.


Kay really should have explained that the Yavin 4 med team could resuscitate people up to an hour after death. (It was the last time for a while that they could; the Hoth facility would be inequipped, and the Alliance's main source for expensive resources, Bail Organa, was about to run dry.) He was helping Cassian by helping pilot them there as quickly as possible to minimize degradation.

After resuscitation, surgeries, and a lot of bacta immersion, Cassian was physically stabilized but in a medically-induced coma to restore full brain function. When Princess Leia brought home the plans and the pilots Skywalker and Solo. When the Death Star appeared in Yavin's sky. Then turned to dust in it.

He got to miss out on the fun of the awful in-between: with Leia was captured, Alderaan destroyed, the Alliance fleet gutted, and many doubting that the plans had existed at all—a small part of their rage at Rogue One (but Jyn and Cassian in particular) for leaving them with so few ships and specialized agents to throw at any of it. If not for Baze and a serenely recovering Chirrut to serve as a buffer, it was hard to know what would have happened to Jyn and Cassian eventually, and perhaps Kay and Bodhi immediately.

But the Death Star was dust. The Rebellion had been on the verge of disbanding or extinction and had now made history. Such a victory transmuted any sins that had led to it.

They were invited to the medal ceremony for Skywalker, Chewbacca, and Solo. Princess Leia wanted to give them medals too.

Kaytu declined while Cassian was still unconscious. Now that he wasn't a target himself, he'd resumed his protector post.

At Bodhi's urging, Kay gave Jyn alone time at Cassian's side, when she wanted it.

It was during one of those when Cassian finally woke up.

Comments

[wherehopegoes]

They had probably left some small parts of themselves behind, and taken some small parts with them. And for as much as Jyn never wanted to dredge up those particular memories again, she knew that she would never be able to forget - that every time she looked at Cassian, she'd be reminded of how close she had come to losing him ...

And her own life, as well.

They were lucky - all of them - to have survived. It had been a miracle of the highest order, all the moreso that Cassian was awake and alert and talking to her, holding her hand, warm and real and very, very alive.

And she wanted - too much. She wanted to hold on like she was never going to let go again. She wanted to get so much closer. She wanted to kiss him silly, like she should have done on that lift, to tell him not to scare her like that again, to ask that he promise that he would never leave her again, even though she knew that keeping such a promise in the middle of war was ... at the very least ... tempting fate.

Then he asked after the survivors, and Jyn wished she could offer better news. They'd lost so many, and even though the Death Star had been destroyed, there was still a very palpable sense of loss within what was left of the Rebellion.

"Not many", she softly replied, referring to the Battle of Scarif. "... We were fortunate. Baze and Chirrut. Bodhi. Kay. Still with us."

[candor1]

Cassian's eyes widened. "Kay? How—?" But being startled turned into a fit of coughing. Hastily, through it, Cassian's hand left Jyn's to feel around the monitor and press its silencer before his wracking could alert any medstaff. Then fumbled to take Jyn's hand again, holding it steady while the rest of him rode out the rest of the fit.

"Don't call anyone," he whispered, catching his breath, finally coming down. "They'd make you leave. I don't want you to."

[wherehopegoes]

Kay would have to offer the answers that Cassian was looking for - it wasn't as though Jyn hadn't been shocked and overwhelmed to learn that the droid had 'survived' Scarif, too, but the truth was, she was far more concerned with Cassian, far more tied up in her own grief and worry to be able to devote much of her attention to anyone else.

Not that she didn't check up on everyone from time to time, not that they didn't talk when Cassian was going through another treatment or surgery, not that they didn't speak about their recoveries, their own worries and fears, and wondering what they would do now, if they wanted to stay or go, if there was even a place for them now ...

But that didn't matter now. Cassian was in the midst of a coughing fit and Jyn didn't know what to do or if anything could be done, and she was so on edge and so helpless and all she could do was watch as it slowly subsided, nod her agreement that she would not alert anyone to this ... what she hoped was momentary distress.

"They'd have to sedate me to remove me, Cassian. I'm not leaving you again."